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Bram Stoker wrote “Dracula” 126 years in the past — one way or the other, Hollywood remains to be screwing it up.
There have already been two “Dreck-ulas” in 2023. Again in April got here the unfunny “Renfield,” starring Nicolas Cage because the rely and Nicholas Hoult as his mistreated assistant.
And now, as if we haven’t been bitten sufficient already, right here’s the brand new horror movie “The Final Voyage of the Demeter,” in regards to the vamp’s not-so-pleasurable cruise to England.
Working time: 118 minutes. Rated R (bloody violence). In theaters Friday.
As at all times, Dracula sucks blood. However his newest film merely sucks.
Director André Øvredal’s uneven movie relies — as loosely as potential — on the captain’s log from Stoker’s 1897 novel, in regards to the doomed watery journey from Bulgaria to Whitby.
The film languished in growth hell for years, and you need to surprise why a lot effort and time went into it.
Anyone with a kindergarten diploma is aware of that the expertise of watching Dracula progressively kill one sailor after one other in precisely the identical means aboard a medium-size vessel with just a few rooms would transform mind-numbingly boring.
And, oh, has it ever. Øvredal makes an attempt to beat the dearth of an engrossing plot by upping the gore, which has labored wonders for the “Evil Lifeless” motion pictures. However there’s no creativity or artfulness to this violence. The occasional bashed cranium earns a “So what?”
Nothing about “Demeter” is scary, actually, regardless of the million “He’s behind you!” jump-scares liberally tossed in.
The filmmakers additionally attempt to increase the worry issue by turning Dracula (Javier Botet) into an unclothed Gollum-like creature with grey pores and skin and bat wings (the Netflix sequence “Midnight Mass” did this in a a lot smarter means).
At first look, we expect he’s a harmful legendary animal, akin to the Mothman. However then he whispers 4 phrases in English. So, one can solely conclude that he’s an unpleasant, soft-spoken, cannibal nudist.
I’m not saying make him Grandpa Munster, however Dracula could be extra compelling and bone-chilling as a completely realized character.
The seafarers that Batboy torments by evening embody Dr. Clemens (Corey Hawkins), stowaway Anna (Aisling Franciosi), Captain Elliot (Liam Cunningham) and first supply Wojcheck (David Dastmalchian).
Each has a tiny motivation for being there. Clemens is an honest man who desires to earn a buck; the captain plans to retire to the coast after this crossing; Wojcheck will lastly inherit the Demeter; Joseph the chef (Jon Jon Briones) thinks that is punishment from God; and Anna is an outdated pal of Drac’s.
The actors do what they will, taking part in cinematic stick figures. Cunningham comes off finest as a result of he brings the identical ethical authority that he did to Davos on “Recreation of Thrones.”
The forged’s general hollowness is basically the fault of Bragi Schut and Zak Olkewicz’s script — the characters’ blase angle whereas in peril is confounding. We’re two-thirds by the film and several other deaths in earlier than any individual decides they need to discover the monster accountable.
Um, yeah!
At the beginning of the film, the Demeter is proven destroyed and washed ashore in England. So there’s, no less than, some solace in realizing that “The Final Voyage” is actually the final voyage.
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